Madame Scroop and Her Poisoned Apples
by beautifullywicked13
Summary: What if instead of the evil stepmother being the old wicked witch it was instead an old blind crone with a knack for giving people what they deserve. Sequel to Grumpilious Randolphus Gribble: Why I Hate Snow White. This story continues telling the true story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfes only this time from Madame Scroops' twisted point of view


Lexie Allen

Ghose

Creative Writing 2nd hr.

9 May 2012

Madame Scroop and Her Poisoned Apples

Madame Scroop blindly stepped out of her crooked little abode as she set out across the darkened woods on her way to the commons market. There she would then proceed to sell her rather peculiar apples, which of course only poisoned those who had malicious intent upon innocents, to any random passerby curious or in some cases desperate enough to attempt to consume the extremely precarious treat.

But despite the risk of such an endeavor, many a creature flocked to her little station in the square to buy or to steal. Not that it really mattered how one obtained the apple because the outcomes were always the same, the sorry bloke who took the damn thing either always ended up dead or lost everything they owned.

"People these days never knowing what's right and what's left, one would think they'd learn a thing or two after the first attempt but oh no, they keep coming back time and time again that one would think I was running an opium den. Oh, well, the more teeth that rot, the more amused I become," Madame Scroop mumbled before bursting into a random fit of giggles.

"Pumpkin blood, and fairy poop teases dear old Mrs. Scroop," she muttered with an insane delight as she wobbled her way up to the door of her dearest friend's cottage.

"Needs a fresh coat of dung, and a nice emerald lizard's eye and then it will be fit to live in, I think," she said approaching the window. "Grumpilious! You old piece of shite, you come on down and speak with this old cod before I die," she exclaimed with a broad toothless smile.

"Looks like you already did," Snow White sneered from her spot in the open window.

Cackling madly Madame Scroop concurred, "Ha-ha-ha. That's right and don't you forget it, Snow White, or else Madame Scroop here will have to turn into a blue footed scrumple."

"A blue footed what?"

"Scrumple, you little twit. Nasty things, those are. Will bite ya' as soon as look at ya'."

"Wait a minute. How do you know my name?"

"Madame Scroop knows everything. Past, present, and future," she said picking up an apple with every tense.

"Everything, huh. Alright, impress me. What am I going to do tomorrow?"

"Depends. What do you think you're doing tomorrow?"

"What kind of answer is that? You can't just answer a question with another question!"

"On the contrary, I just did."

Angry Snow White huffed before moving on to a different topic, "What are you doing here?"

"Like I says, I'm here to speak with Grumpilious."

"Grumpilious? Oh, you mean Grumpy. Well, he's not here right now, although if you weren't blind as a bat then you would already know that. And as you can see I have rather important things to do, so leave," Snow White said snidely as she made a shooing motion with her hands.

"Not so fast, wrench. I have come here to have natter with me friend, Grumpilious. And I ain't leavin' untils I do."

"Yes, well as I've said Grumpy isn't here right now, so away with you and your filth," Snow White demanded as she slyly snatched a rather delicious looking apple she'd been eyeing for the past five minutes from the old coot's basket before slamming the window in her distorted face.

"No manners. No manners at all. Oh well, the little twit will receive her due soon," Madame Scroop cackled madly as she meandered away from the Grumpilious' cottage.

Several years later

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the old coot that poisoned me," Snow White said evilly as looked into the wrinkled distorted face of Madame Scroop.

"Poisoned! I's did not poison you's no ways no how," Madame Scroop replied affronted. "It was your own fault for thinking you'd get away with stealing one of mi apples without paying the sufficient price, you stupid wrench. I's had nothing to do with it."

"Who walks around a darkened forest with poisoned apples?!"

"Who steals food from an old bat like me self when they're in a darkened forest they know nothing about?"

"Why you, snide old bitch. You'll pay for that comment."

"On the contrary, twit, it will be you who is paying."

"Guards, take her away!"

Upon hearing the order the royal guards of Prince Charles warily locked Madame Scroop in chains before escorting her back to the castle where she will be thrown into the royal dungeon.

That night while walking around her cell, Madame Scroop uttered, "Yes, yes, with just a little coat of dung and some maggot nests and this place would almost be habitable" before cackling loudly.

A few minutes later when all was black and silent, Madame Scroop pulled a shiny red poisoned apple out of her giant black cloak. Crowing madly she placed her gift to Snow White just so in the seat of her cell so as to temp the Princess come morning.

"Thought she could bar old Madame Scroop, eh. Well then, this'll be sure to set things right and come morning when she comes to jeer, she'll end up eating you instead just like the lazy stupid wrench she is. I's mays not be there at all times but at least I've got the sense not to eat a corrupted apple when I see one whereas she don't. Oh well, no matter no matter, she'll get what's coming to her. And I's not be seeing hers no more. Oh no, not with crow wings, bat wings, or legs of newt will she catch old Madame Scroop," she chortled before disappearing into the night without a trace.


End file.
